Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I got the best God Wink today! After much consideration, I decided to sell my old gold jewelry. I could seriously use the cash right now, and it's been stuffed in the back of a drawer for years. There were pieces from old relationships, added as those relationships ended, and there were some of my mom's jewelry too. The latter carried with it more of a struggle to release. After all, those were memories and mementos from my MOTHER. Weren't they?
I've been thinking about doing this for some time now, but really didn't know where to go, or how much to expect from everything. The other day, I was driving home from Borders Books, having just purchased the book, "Soul Currency", required reading for a class I am taking on prosperity, of all things. As I sat at a stop light, I noticed there was a new shop on the corner – a pawn shop advertising in big bold letters, "WE BUY GOLD". I didn't realize it then, but this was a "wink" from God to me.
Today, in light of some extremely pressing financial issues, I decided to do it. Whatever I was given, it would be more than what I currently had in my bank account and it would certainly do more good toward easing my financial situation than jewelry that I never wear sitting in the back of a drawer.
As I took each piece out of the velvet pouch I thought back on the giver and the relationship. I stopped at the birthstone ring of my mom's. Because I was born on her birthday, it was also my birthstone; a tiny little blue stone on a thin gold band. Mom had tiny fingers and there's no way this ring would fit my fingers now. It still bears the crooked memory of the time I "borrowed" it without her knowing and wore it during a softball game. Of course, I immediately jammed my finger, ending my illustrious softball career. My dad hurried to cut the ring off my purple, swollen finger as I tried to figure out how to tell her what I'd done.
In the end, my mom was more worried about my finger than the ring. She simply took it to a jeweler and had it soldered back together. Not perfect, but perfectly wearable.
Then there was the "Mother's Ring", a popular gift for Mother's Day bearing the various birthstones of her children. Along with my dad and brother, I gave this ring to her when I was a teen and I never saw her without it on. I never particularly liked the setting, but mom sure seemed to love it.
Last, there was her wedding ring. A plain, gold band. How could I "cash in" on her WEDDING ring? Never mind that, should I ever marry, I would not use this ring. IT WAS MY MOTHER'S WEDDING RING!!
Anyone who ever knew my mom knows that she would give the shirt off her back to anyone, especially us kids. We didn't have a lot but she made darned well sure if we wanted something and it was within her means, we would get it. She would joke about the "sacrifice" she made for us. In hindsight, this jovial way of reminding us of all she'd given up so that we could have may have planted some false belief in my head that we are supposed to suffer in order to survive this life. But, that is a subject for another day!
I realize that my memories of my mom are not in "things". My memories are in my heart and my soul. They aren't for sale or barter. I decided to include her rings in the items I would take to the shop. I said a silent prayer, thanking each giver for each gift, blessing all the great memories had, and released them to become part of new stories and relationships.
The memory of my loving mother who was always there for me came back to the forefront of my mind. I'd like to think she would smile, knowing that in releasing these things, I am better able to support myself. I got in my car and headed to the shop. I looked down at the digital clock in my car and it read: "12:12" – our birthday. I knew she was here, telling me it was OK and that I was going to be OK.